Friday, October 06, 2006
The Butler and the Hoff
And then there's Paul Burrell. Celebrity, butler, scholar and gentleman. This man's role as a peripheral, if persistently omnipresent, celeb is a good argument against reality TV. I firmly believe this man would sell his soul for media coverage (and then probably nick it back).So in a Celebrity Death Match to die for, it's Hoff vs. Burrell. And which iconic figure could be the reason for this spat? There's only one: yep, it's the Daily Express' (not to mention the nation's) favourite: Lady Di, the Princess of Hearts.
Hoff, the deluded self-obsessive narcissist, has claimed that Lady Di fancied him something rotten. This is, of course, a total non-story, which necessitates the role of the Butler who has sprung to his former boss' defence claiming Hoff is speaking bunkum saying: "There was never, ever any hint of any date or romance between the two of them. Such a suggestion is as far-fetched as a talking car called Kitt" or your celebrity career.
"The signed photo was of him in his Baywatch pose – all trunks and hairy chest...I remember the princess laughing hysterically at the photo and turning her nose up." At the same time? That's even more impressive than licking your elbow.
He'd rip Burrell apart like a gay man's arsehole.
Eskimo Nell sounds very worrying. Time of the month my dear?