Monday, January 16, 2006

George Goneaway Licks His Wounds


Channel 4 freakshow continues

George Goneaway's fiasco appearance on Channel 4 continues full steam ahead. Apparently, Channel 4 has censored his rants, which means instead we get to enjoy Goneaway as Dracula, or as pictured above licking imaginery milk from Rula Lenska's hands. Words fail me, so here below is the actual duologue:

Rula (87) is on the rug (certianly not on the rag). Goneaway is on the couch. Big Brother has suggested they do animal role play exercises to prepare for the task.

George: "Would you like me to be the cat?"

Rula: "Yes please."

Goneaways gets in crouching position and meows away

Rula: "Here pussy, pussy, yes. More tickles it's OK . Oooh little pussy cat, there there pussy cat."

Goneaway salivates and smacks his lips

Rula: "You stay there, I'll get you some milk, you like that don't you."

Rula pretends to get some milk (from the fridge and thankfully not her withered body). George is now on all fours, lapping pretend milk from Rula's cupped, and wrinkly, hands.

Rula: "Yes, good pussy cat. That's right, delicious! Good girl, good girl. You've got cream all over your whiskers."

She rubs his sideburns and says: "Good pussy cat." George nuzzles into her lap and starts purring (I think). Rula caresses his head and behind his ears (where he is still politically wet?!?!).

Rula: "Oooh yes, has it been a trying day with all those people coming into the house, has it? You just like being alone with your mummy, don't you?"

Sick yet?

The shenanighans continue in Goneaway's second favourite House, the House of Commons, where Chris Bryant spoke on a Point of Order (these are ways for Parliamentary snitches and grasses to try and get someone else in trouble with the Speaker).

Chris Bryant (Rhondda) (Lab): On a point of order, Mr. Speaker. I apologise for raising this point now, because it does not directly relate to the business at hand, but I wanted to give you notice of this point of order. I hope that this is an apposite moment. You will know that the hon. Member for Bethnal Green and Bow (Mr. Galloway) is not present and, indeed, is incommunicado. However, he managed to sign last Thursday 12 early-day motions, which appear on today's Order Paper. One of them, early-day motion 1297, is about abandoned animals at Christmas, but I do not know whether cats were included. Is it in order for an hon. Member who is not present and has no means of being in communication with this House to sign early-day motions? I suggest that it might be worth while investigating how he has managed to do so.

Mr. Speaker: I do watch "Big Brother" and I saw the one about the cat and the one about the boxers. I know that some hon. Members give authority to another hon. Member to put their names on early-day motions, but I cannot think of any hon. Member who would do so in this instance. I will look into the matter, and that is the best that I can do. I will also continue watching "Big Brother" in my spare time.

(Courtesy of Hansard obviously, but thanks to a chum for bringing this to my attention. Like me he values his anonymity so I shall just call him Smokey McPot. Cheers Smokey.)

Great answer from Mr Speaker there. Unlucky for Chris Bryant, obviously getting into Panto mode as Mr Toad. Not like he'd be caught with his trousers down in a state, that some would say, is unbecoming of a MP.

Comments:
Hey Barry,

you didn't mention that Chris Bryant got his info from www.recessmonkey.com

Recess Monkey
 
As Chris Bryant didn't mention you (which surprised me) I didn't know. I will happily mention it now.
Chris Bryant got his info from Recess Monkey.
 
No I didn't. It came up during some delightful pillow talk with a member of staff from a Minister's office.

Ohh, and Barry - your website is far better than Recess Wanky's!
 
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