Monday, July 30, 2007
The Bobby George Interview
and the Lieutenant Gruber Interview that took the world by storm
It's been fun, but I'm now off to become a teacher. See you.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
The reason behind Sven's failure as England manager becomes apparent
The new and improved safe, reliable and comfortable...escalator?
It's a fucking escalator. Just get it working. How much money has been splaffed up the wall in the making and maintenance of Portcullis House? I mean how many times does one or tother of the kitchen's functions break down? I did like the recent return to paper plates. What with the furore of Lords getting passes for lobbyists and the massive impression this can make on clients, perhaps the national media should shift her attention to where the poor sup could actually go.
There are the non-functioning toilets, the escalator that doesn't escalator (not forgetting the lifts that do not lift) or my personal favourite the trays in the Debate that are practically welded together.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Labour: the Party of Keir Hardie, Quentin Davies and Digby Jones
I'd say I was surprised, but I am yet to get over my disgust.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Get Well Soon
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Turning Nice Girls Naughty and Nice Guys Stupid
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Last night's TV
Channel 4, above such frippery, offers us Big Brother with about a dozen Vicki Pollards yeh but no but yeh but no but yehing until the start crying. Channel 4 has two feasible choices:
1) Fake the death of one of the twins without telling anyone apart from the 'dead' twin. Remember: death equals ratings.
2) Cancel Big Brother, evict every last deviant and twat and buy back the rights to the cricket.
And then there was Derren Brown who, let's face it, is the man. The highlight was when he was describing this dude's dream and had predicted an old woman would figure. The guy said an old friend of the family, who had recently shuffled off this mortal coil, was present. He said her name was Mrs *bleep*. Now this confused me somewhat? Was it to protect her privacy in death, or was it that her surname was actually something rude like Cunt for instance. "Darling, old Mrs Cunt is coming round for dinner tonight"
Deputy Leadership suggestion
People will have noticed that the colour of this whole Leadership thingy has been purple. So if only the Labour Party could figure a way emitting purple smoke from 10 Downing Street? Well you could always feed the outgoing DPM some baked beans and then cast him outside, I supppose?
Labels: Deputy Leadership
Monday, June 11, 2007
Chinese attempt to introduce child labour as an Olympic sport
I can see the slogan now:
Beijing 20 08 year olds working 20 hour shifts making all the merchandise
I should work in marketing
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Down and Out in Paris and London
* It's a really poorly written post, but is redeemed by Kerron's rant in the comments. Really toys out of the pram stuff. I'd totally forgotten, but it reaches nastiness levels normally reserved only for McDonnellites...
Friday, June 01, 2007
The Queen Vic
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Sheffield United (relegated)
Ok, so not so bad here. The top 4 unsurprisingly was right, just in the wrong order. I think acceptable. As for relegation, well Watford went down quicker than Divine Brown whereas the Pigs gloriously went down on the last day of the season. Wigan survived by the skin of their teeth. I'll predict now: Wigan going down next year.
West Brom (champions)
Colchester United (relegated)
No accounting for the Baggies choking so bad. Birmingham did finish second and Southampton made the play-offs. I wrote this pre-Keane so don't feel bad about missing out Sunderland.
Colchester were the biggest surprise in English league football last season and having watched them trounce Wednesday 4-0 on a shitty Wednesday evening, I can testify that they're pretty good. QPR were rubbish and in John Gregory they have a hopeless manager. The highlight to their season was a mass brawl between their reserves and a load of Chinese players. They're just a small team in Fulham. Barnsley just about survived, although a last day 7-0 caning by West Brom bodes perfectly for next season.
Nottingham Forest (champions)
Forest chucked it away. They should have gone up automatically and then should have gone up through, or at the very least made the Final of, the Play Offs. Frankly, they should be ashamed. Swansea finished one spot out of the play-offs, but Bradford let me down big time. Crap for the whole season they went down comfortably.
Millwall's season picked up and they finished an encouraging 10th under the stewardship of ex-Wednesday #2, Willie Donachie. Cheltenham are useless and I'm surprised they survived but with Kayode Odejayi signing for Barnsley today, they'll be there or thereabouts at the bottom come next season. Orient were lucky to have 4 worse teams in the league. They finished 5th bottom. Poor Rotherham. The Dingles tried valiantly, got safe, got very safe and then lost and lost and lost and capitulated: a team in very real danger.
Swindon Town (champions)
Swindon went up thanks to ex-Owls supremo Paul Sturrock. A great man. MK Dons lost in the Play-Offs. Accrington were sadly dire and Darlington never got it going.
Macclesfield looked dead and buried, but Paul Ince lived up to his 'Guvnor' moniker and worked his magic. Stockport, perenially crap, flirted outrageously with the play-offs and Jim Gannon's team were unlucky in the end.