Sunday, February 12, 2006

Beef Jerky of the Week

Harking back to Budweiser adverts gone by; WAAAAAASSSSSSUUUPPPPPP???? Yo, it's me, I'm back. This post will be the first in a weekly (if I remember) post of the person most deserving of the soubriquet Barry's Beef Jerky of the Week. What's that then? You might ask if you are stupid. It is for the person who has done, in my opinion, the stupidest thing of the week. The little dude in the corner is Jerkyman and he hates idiots. Taken as a given that I have been out of Blogdom for a couple of weeks the inaugral recipient is not from last week but the week before (I think). So without further ado (clears throat) I humbly declare that the first winner of the Jerky of the Week is....Hilary Armstrong (queue a spontaneous and thunderous round of applause)

Of course you can take time off the whip. It's in the bag. Hey, why don't you go to Dunfermline and encourage people to vote Lib Dem?

So then the job of a Chief Whip? Ermmm...let's see. You get your backbenchers to vote for Government policy. Sounds fine. But what if a slightly contentious piece of legislation (which I must say I don't think remotely contentious) clashes with a by-election? In this case Dunfermline and Fife West. Queue Einstein, sorry Armstrong. You can envisage the meeting: "Listen lads (and lasses) Race and Religious Hatred? Pah! We'll win at a canter. But not so sure about the by-election. Not like the constituency is next to the Chancellor and PM-elect, is it? Not like he lives there or anything is it? How's about we send loads of you up there to persuade the Scots to vote Red? And, by my reckoning, we should hold Dunermline and West Fife and win this vote. Piece of cake. Tony? Take it easy big lad. Go home and have some quality time with the kids."

Next day...
(groggily through embarassment and hangover)Oh shit. Lost the vote in the House and lost a safe seat to the Liberal Demotwats.

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