Barry's Beef

Still #1

I watched Eastenders last night and, although an avid and unashamed fan anyway, last night's was a particular treat. Kicking off proceedings were Rosie and Keith, the working man's Taylor and Burton, trying to reconcile their marriage. Keith, gawd bless him, is trying. Not only has he learnt to read (illiteracy in Walford is a regional tradition held in high esteem) but Rosie has also noticed him trying to woo her back by...combing his hair and going to the Jobcentre. In Eastenders this represents 'an effort'. Keith pops round to look after Alicia to give Rosie time to herself saying that he'd go to the Jobcentre too. So not only comb your hair and go to the Jobcentre, but also take your grand-daughter with you to the Jobcentre. Oh Keith, stop! You old romantic. Alas, Keith was lying cos he's a lazy bum and didn't go seeking JSA or getting on the New Deal.
Still this plot was small-fry to the main event of Martin and Sonia. Now let me get this off my chest (which Sonia might say if she ever decides to get rid of her fake boobs) I can't stand Sonia. She is the most irritating character ever. And ugly. Anyway, she's going to cook a romantic meal for her husband, the wonderfully neanderthal and personality-free-zone, Martin. Yes, for the hundreth time this year, they're going to give their marriage a go. For some reason, Martin gets into a big huff and invites the lads round for a game of poker (obviously Gary goes in ultra-confident only to be humbled by Bradley, the new Branning on the block, who later gets righteously hammered and celebrates with all-time legend Jim Branning - "Don't let Dorothy catch you like this"). So what will Sonia cook? Obviously, no romantic meal is complete without a delicious sauce. But where would you get that? Thank goodness for Walford's chic, haute cuisine wholesalers the Mini-Mart. Yes, Sonia goes to the Mini-Mart and buys a spicy chicken sauce (yum, yum). A half-dozen scenes later beautifully thought out scripting has Sonia consulting with Jane about the aforementioned spicy sauce. "You put it on the chicken and it makes it really spicy, but I just don't know" worries Sonia. What exactly do you not know? You've just said what you do and what it does.
Eventually, Sonia is cooking chez Pauline with, the almost-as-annoying-as-Sonia, Naomi. Just like a car-crash with everyone knowing the inevitable outcome but still watching. Martin turns up with all his poker chums and soon enough has another argument with Sonia culminating with Sonia telling Martin to stay if their marriage means anything, only for Martin to walk out. Just a great 1/2 hour's entertainment.