Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Rubbish police e-fits


This guy would stick in the memory

So recently I was doing jury service and being very keen to be a decent, honest and understanding citizen I wondered where the court artist was. You know that guy (or could be woman) who does the beautiful pastel illustrations of the accused, jury, judge, baker, butcher and candlestick maker, that clearly depict nothing accurately but always end up on the News. Well I was destined to be disappointed (being a Sheffield Wednesday fan and Labour Party member this comes naturally and effortlessly) as no artist was present.
Thanks, but I'm done sharing my life's woes with you now and will revert to type: HOW CRAP ARE POLICE E-FITS? Seen that picture of the bloke above? You know the guy with a porno tash, matching mullet and police hat? Hint to the Police, I imagine he's probably not wearing the hat now. And you're well and truly screwed if he has had the decency to have a shave and haircut.
Obviously, this is not a laughing matter; it was a very serious heist - the biggest ever in the UK (or a personal best - PB - if I worked on Grandstand). £53 million gone. Shame that, but recognise the e-fit? I think they could e-fit me and I wouldn't recognise it.
Still, how's about this guy?










Police are pretty sure this man is, or is not, wearing a hat and may, or may not, have a beard.
And for some reason a photo has constantly been shown on the News of the Dixons. For some reason they have the single most unrecognisable picture of them at their wedding day (by the wedding dress I think this is a safe enough deduction). If the Dixons want their privacy protected, then fine. Don't print the pic. Why print this:









And bear in mind that the Usual Suspects was made in 1995 (over a decade ago) and the minute that suspect fit came through the fax, I knew Kaiser Soze was Kevin Spacey...

Comments:
Oh shit! We've been robbed by the Village People!

*snicker*

Recess Monkey
 
Monkey. Sometimes ppl leave comments before I finish the post. Indeed, you have rung me whilst waiting for me to finish a post. However, no-one has ever predicted that text-thing-that-pops-up-when-you-hover
-over-the-picture before I've done that. So congratulations.
 
I recognise that guy with the beard. :-)
 
BTW I reckon that top guy looks a bit like John Terry. :-)
 
Isn't that a policeman disguised as a robber ?

Perhaps someone with our dear and beloved Hopp Inn ?
 
blood brothers mate - we think the same - we even look similar
 
Surely the top guy is Des Lynam moonlighting as a kissogram.
 
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