Barry's Beef

Wanna smash his face in?

Watching highlights of Sunday's Manchester United vs. Newcastle match like thousands of other people, I wished I could play football like Wayne Rooney. Sadly, as with most people who think this, I have no talent. Not only did Wayne bang in two goals and be all-round awesome, but on the stroke of half-time a corner was cleared and Rooney connected with a netbuster volley.
However, the net didn't bust; instead the volley hit football's Mr Ugly (and Dot Cotton look-a-like), Gary Neville flush in the face, pole-axing the hapless Man Utd skipper in a manner any Liverpool fan would be proud of. To make things even better Neville did that great comedy fall where his prone figure is faultlessly symmetrical. He then gets up and jogs back to right-back, ruefully rubbing his chin as everyone else laughs.
A real kodak moment, but sadly one I'll never be able to recreate (unless in later life Gary Neville falls on really hard times and volunteers to recreate the moment for filthy lucre, which, let's face it, is pretty unlikely); so conceive of my delight upon my stumbling to this site courtesy of some ingenius Liverpool supporter.
Smack him til your heart's content.