Barry's Beef

Duck! Stray arm

As inconvenient as they may be for the teams playing, I have enjoyed BBC showing the four F.A Cup matches on weekday evenings this week. However, the last two matches: Chelsea vs. Newcastle and Charlton vs. Middlesboro were on the dull side. Actually they were dull. So enter John Motson and Jonathan Pearce; two plonkers of Rodney Trotter proporotion.
After two players (sadly cannot recall who) went up for the ball one got hit in the face by the others arm, Motty declares that player one was caughty 'by a stray arm'. A stray arm? How? Did someone from the crowd just happen to have a spare arm upon their person and throw it on to the pitch to liven up proceedings? Or was it Thing from the Adams Family?
Compare and contrast this with offender number 2, Jonathan Pearce; who for some reason best known to himself insisted on continually calling Middlesboro goalie Mark Schwarzer (pronounced Schwoortzer - sort of!), Mark Schwartzer. For the unitiated of you schwartzer is the yiddish word for a black guy. Is Jonathan Pearce a yiddish speaker, or is he just a tosser? I find it well annoying when commentators pretend to be more au fait with international football by seeking to give their own interpretation to the correct pronounciation of anyone whose surname is more foreign than Smith or Jones.