Friday, March 17, 2006

MP scares Researchers


Labour MP for Manchester Gorton, Gerald Kaufman is a colossus of the Labour Party having been elected to the House of Commons in 1932. A lesser-known fact about Mr Kaufman is his truly individual dress sense.
In Recess determined staffers should base their operations in the Terrace Cafeteria and eventually their patience will be rewarded by a vision that you need to be seated to survive. For Garald Kaufman has some of the most colourful jumpers in the world. As the nursery rhyme now goes: "Bah, bah rainbow sheep".
Today, a suited and booted Gerald Kaufman astounded, and shocked, people eating their lunch. Friday's wardrobe was a checked suit together with stripey shirt and brightly coloured 80s tie combo.
Showing journalistic talents that my careers advisor at school never foretold, I quickly garnered the opinion of STAFFERS (copyright of Monkey). All staffers have asked to be given nom de plumes in case Gez buys them all a jumper.
A source close to the bar said: "He looks like a tit"
Long-time collaborator, and deviant, Brandy Nipples declared: "If it were a food stuff, it would be offal. Even my battered fish shuddered as it caught a glimpse of that tie!"
L'ecossaise simply stated: "It hurts"
One fine lady who was busying herself with dowsing the fire in her mouth caused by the Terrace's Sweet Chilli Sauce was too upset to speak. She has now become a mute.
If anyone has photographic evidence of aforementioned crimes against fashion, I'd be eternally thankful, if not I'll just make something up.

We have all seen the winklepickers, amazing shirts and tight drainpipe trousers and noticed his angry outbursts around the estate.

But as he is famously over-protective about comments on such things and apparently litigious with it, I would just like to say I think he has impeccable dress sense and I don't know what you are talking about! ;-)
In that case (adopting Alan Partridge voice) Gerald if you're reading I'm sorry. It was a joke and, no let me say this, I think the 1983 Labour Party manifesto deserved it.
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