Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Mark Oaten

Now Schadenfreude is, at times, an unpleasant trait. It's just not nice to laugh at other's misfortune. Just tragic when an (potentially) influential politican loses it all by lying, cheating on your* wife and being hypocritical.
And you know what? It's not John Prescott.

No the only man in Parliament whose love life dredges up even more repugnant images than Prescott's; one Mark Oaten.
Well it seems that Oaten is now sporting something rapidly becoming something approaching a goatee (which is something approaching a beard). Apparently, he was running the mile for Sports Aid today and a source who was there, for God only knows what reason, was very impressed with Oaten's performance however noting he lost a 'sprint' finish against fellow Liberal Democrat, Tom Brake. My source revealed that Oaten was wearing his Watford socks (maybe after Kerron washed them??). Back in the days of Oaten's scandal it was revealed (allegedly), amongst other things, that Oaten liked his boys dressed in football kits. Perhaps it set off alarm bells seeing his Hornet stockings (nothing sleazy there - football socks are commonly called stockings. OK not commonly, but technically) and Tom decided not to put the brakes on. Ha ha.
Looking for a picture I typed in "Oaten beard" and found this touching verse from Richard Lovelace's, Grasshopper:

O thou that swing’st upon the waving hair
Of some well-fillàed oaten beard,
Drunk every night with a delicious tear
Dropt thee from heaven, where thou wert rear’d!

If anyone has swung on Oaten's well fillaed beard please let me know at

* On re-reading this article, which really is something because most people don't read it in the first place, I noticed that it hsouldn't read your wife but rather his wife. No offence or discomfort meant to anyone.

I don't think I've ever met Oaten, let alone doen his washing.

And while we are here, I don't want to know where he "wert rear'd"

Nice* to see the sport mile is causing Blair more problems (see my blog for latest news!).


*Sorry, did I say "nice" there? I meant "shame". Apologies. :-)
Is Oaten really a shit-loving freak? Not into politics so don't know. Sorry.
Why are Lib Dems so ugly? And does Jenny Willotts have a tick?
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