Barry's Beef

As a bull I can look admiringly at a cow and no-one thinks anything abnormal. However, when a homo sapien does the same eyebrows are raised. A lot of people look at a cow and see udders others more callously see a leather jacket, burgers and a couple of steaks.
Not many see a potential spouse. Now having spent a year in the former Eastern bloc, I can attest that there are some funny old people out there. Take Boris Gabov for instance, who has written to Vladimir Putin asking permission to marry a cow citing that all the girls have moved out of his village and gone to the big smoke (to get away from freaks like Boris one assumes) and that he has loved animals all his life and when will the domestic marriage of people to animals, particularly cows, be allowed.
Has Boris thought this through thoroughly? I doubt it. I'd even suggest that vodka may play a bigger influence in his life than common sense. How would you get a wedding ring on her hoof? Would she eat her own veil? How does a cow communicate a headache? Can she iron? And most importantly; what would the kids look like?
Anyway, one thing for sure, it is a very MOOOOOOOving story, although I think marriage would be a big miSTEAK. UDDERly stupid in fact.