Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Worst England Test XI

Appalled as I was by some anonymous person leaving their worst-ever England XI in the comments to a previous post, i'll happily oblige with mine. Oh God this is painful

1) Chris Tavare - that walk to square leg...
2) Mark Lathwell - on debut walking out to open the batting confided in Atherton "I don't know why they're cheering I'll be back in a minute."
3) Bill Athey - had a tattoo of the England flag, little else of note.
4) Mark Ramprakash - immensely talented. You always knew there was a duck just around the corner.
5) Richard Blakey † - narrowly pipped Geraint Jones.
6) David Capel - the first in a long line of heirs to Ian Botham. And the worst.
7) Derek Pringle * - the single worst cricketer I have ever seen (and more boring than Tavare.)
8) Richard Dawson - fish out of water.
9) Eddie Hemmings - fat and never forgiven him for hitting the last ball of the match, bowled by John Lever, for 4 to win the 1989 NatWest trophy. So what I was only 10? It still hurts.
10)Paul Allott - rubbish player, worse commentator.
11)Martin McCague - Australia must have been crying with laughter when we capped him.

So glad you remembered McCague, though you fail to mention Chris Cowdrey, Paul Jarvis, Martin Moxon, Tim Curtis, and so many other failures. Tavaré, on the other hand, (my source tells me) scored 12 Test 50s.

PS. Where's my link? :-)
Ramps has played six Tests in Australia with an average of 49.3 and 12 Tests overall against Australia at 42.4. And he'd be in your worst XI?!?! - he'd be on the plane if it were up to me.
Ashley Giles, King of Spain, has been selected for the Ashes squad! Fantastic!
There are roughtly zero surprises in the ashes squad. Only to be expected, i suppose.
of course there are worse players around otherwise it would have just been the 11 england players with the worst averages.
tavare had an average over 30 but was the most dull bat ever (apart from Pringle). sadly no room for all the shower we have fielded down the years.

anonymous - ramps would always make my worst team. everyone knew how good he was, but an average of 27 off over 50 test is piss.
Anonymous, you seen your mate Ramps is going to be on Celebrity Come Dancing? U reckon he turned down the Ashes to go on?
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