Friday, February 23, 2007

Immigration

I think we can all agree that immigration is a big issue. Everyone's got an opinion. Even the word 'immigration' elicits a response. People who on the face of things appear normal start foaming at the mouth like rabied dogs. It's not just retired Majors either. So when you stumble upon a solution to the immigration problem, I think it's wise to spread the word. I don't know where and when great decisions have been made in the past, that lightbulb going off effect. However, I can pinpoint this momentous moment. Inbetween the Palace and Portcullis House. The genii being myself, Comrade Hamburger (an economic migrant) and the good Count. Simply put: all immigrants (economic/asylum seeker whatever) must wear a Houses of Parliament visitor pass. This, of course, will have the date of their arrival on it (marked with black pen). All immigrants must be accompanied by an indigenous Briton. However, an individual Briton can only 'sign-in' a maximum of four (4) immigrants. If the immigrant is unaccompanied they are liable to be chucked off our fair isle by some obesely fat policeman type. If, for instance, the immigrant is found alone in somewhere like Wolverhampton, they will be marched to the nearest port and deported in whichever direction. All ports will be provided with green bins, in which the passes can be deposited. NOT OUR CONCERN WHEN THEY LEAVE BRITAIN. Naturally, immigrants will not be allowed on the Terrace and will not be permitted to have lunch during peak times (12-2)

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