Barry's Beef

It happened last week and I am ashamed not to have documented it earlier, Lubos Kubik has left Torquay United. No points at all if you ask 'who is Lubos Kubik?', but full marks should you know he was the Czechoslovakian defender who heinously wore the number 9 shirt in the 1990 World Cup and who went on to briefly managed Torquay United.
Foreigners with massive (at least proportionately to where they have gone) reputations who have failed, miserably, in England. Well, let me think - for every Prosinecki at Portsmouth there are a load of flops...Ramón Díaz as manager of Oxford United springs to mind; Roberto Mancini playing for Leicester City; Thomas Brolin at Leeds and Palace and Attilio Lombardo at Palace (now Lombardo was a good player, Brolin a fat, idle waster (who I believe went back to Sweden to sell hoovers), Square Football's version of Palace's Terry and June: (On Lombadro being appointed manager)The snag was that the Italian couldn’t speak a word of English which produced the 'Odd Couple' combination with the Swede Thomas Brolin, who presumably kept a straight face when asking the players for more effort. Eventually the club finished bottom but Lombardo stayed with the club in Division One.); Taribo West at Plymouth (the lunatic claimed to have been told in a dream to sign for Plymouth and was on an annual salary alleged to be in the region of £600,000 - tragically, he ignored the dream he had where he was offered the chance to host Deal or No Deal). A (dis)honourable mention should also go to Javier Mascherano.
Football: it's a funny old game. Any other foreigners with massive reputations who did absoutely nob-all? Maybe, World Cup winner Roque Junior at Leeds? Although, I am particularly after the more improbable, rather than plain shit, examples.

Update: The Lib Dem MP for Torbay, Adrian Sanders, who if memory serves was once voted 'Hardest Working MP', has drawn my attention to his own blog where the Torquay fan has posted a frankly scary homage to Lubos Kubik. Now will he reciprocate and link to me?

Labels: Attillio Lombardo, Crystal Palace, Lubos Kubik, Oxford United, Plymouth Argyle, Ramon Diaz, Thomas Brolin, Torquay United

Torquay United are perhaps not the most glamorous or talked about football club in the land, but I do have a kind of soft spot for them; mainly in part to an ex-Comrade moving down there after leaving PCH; Garry Nelson's excellent Left Foot In The Grave and that when I was there with my girlfriend I found a shop that sold Sheffield Wednesday cards and that the proprietor was an Owl (a Sheffield Wednesday fan rather than a pellett-emitting bird of prey capable of rotating his head 360 degrees and thus eliminating the blind spot).
And for a club seemingly pernenially plagued by mediocrity, this week has been something of a 15 minutes of fame, ok 15 minutes of recognition may be more accurate. The Gulls have made the backpages for two reasons. Firstly, their new(ish) Chair Chris Roberts, who replaced previous head honcho Mike Bateson, unveiled an anti-diving policy to operate on a three-strikes-and-you're-out (as in transfer-listed or sacked) policy. And secondally when Roberts, who himself forged a playing career and, self-evidentally, a considerable reputation in the Czech Republic, announced that current manager Ian Atkins was to be shuffled upstairs (just like the late Thora Hird) and a mystery former Czech Republic international was to be installed as the brand new, shiny coach at Torquay. All this mystery is just like the early-90s heyday of the WWF. Today it was revealed the man in question is Lubos Kubik. Well, well who'd have thunk it? I remember Kubik turning out for Czechoslovakia/the Czech Republic during the 90s and was over the moon to see on Wikipedia that I had remembered correctly and he wore the number 9 shirt in the 1990 World Cup. He is a defender and so should never wear a striker's number.
I hope Torquay go from strength to strength and that this appointment sees Kubik return to form after a frankly disappointing effort in Eyes Wide Shut.

Labels: Lubos Kubik, Torquay United